The Beauty of Death
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Experiences of a Dreamwalk
by Lea Hamann
My telephone rang. “I need your help, I’m having cancer for 10 years now and I don’t want to die. Can you help me?” the agitated woman asked. I took a deep breath and said: “I’m not sure if I can help you not to die, but I would really like to teach you how to breathe.” And so it began. My client called every week to learn deep conscious breathing. After our third session together she told me that she feels very relaxed while breathing and that the intense pain that has always been there, disappeared for short moments. My client was an expert in all kinds of energy work, healing techniques, she knew everyone and everything. What I discovered was, none of those techniques brought love into her life. What all those techniques had in common was they helped her to sink deeper and deeper into her brain, into her fear and into deep victim energy.
There’s such a draw to the victim energy, and especially to the energies that work in the brain, some years ago I would have sunk right into that energy. But now I know Breath, so I can stay in the sweetness of my breath whatever storm of thoughts is raging against my windows. I created a space of safety and peace, a space, where the mind of my client could not intrude. Session after session my client enjoyed the stillness of our space together. Every session she came with her fear of death, with stories about her pain – and we watched all that slide into the background, dissolve and transcend while we stayed in our breath.
The battle my client had fought against her sickness, against her body and against herself had gotten her stuck. Fighting can do that. You cannot breathe and fight at the same time, so in our sessions she learned a new way to be with herself. A more loving and gentle way. Her words became softer. The way she talked about herself became more loving. We celebrated a small miracle, when she was able to laugh about herself for the very first time.
Of course we also talked about her situation, about her fear of dying and about her sickness. We breathed and let go of so many old energies – many closed doors could open. One day we reached the point where she could see, that she truly had a choice. She never had this kind of awareness before. Her life has been about fighting through, coping with and surviving. Now she had a choice for the first time. I told her she could be with that choice for a while and come back when she knew more about it. The next time she called, her voice had changed, it was soft and gentle. She said: “You know, my head always told me I should survive, I should fight my disease, but my heart says: I want to go home. Can you help me to go home?” So with that our Dreamwalk started.
We talked about her perception of death. She said: “Death is cold, death is darkness and death is the screaming of my mother who died when I was young.” I had experienced this space of death so often that I knew about those dark chasms but I also knew about the gentle and graceful way of dying. I knew about the beauty of death. So I invited her to leave that dark space and try another space. We made the joke, that you can leave a house in different ways. You can certainly jump out of the window. You can dig a hole through the foundation of the house, or you can just open the door and walk out. How do you want to leave your house? How do you want to die?
In our sessions that we had now on a daily basis we tasted the gentle space of death. We breathed together, we became centered in the body and then we opened up beyond. Beyond the body, beyond the breath of the physical lungs, beyond our 3rd dimension. Death is an opening, opening up for something more, more of you. So every breath led her to receive more of this new experience. More of herself. Breath led her to gently fall into the arms of her soul that was waiting for her. Just waiting to hold her, to be with her. My client fell in love with that space. Weeks ago she always wanted to talk and argue and discuss issues with me. Now she always asked: “Could we start breathing right now?”
Since she made her decision to leave her physical body, her body slowed down and there was a certain amount of pain because her body had held so much energy for her. Due to the cancer that had spread out through her entire body, her lungs were filling with water. Every other day her lungs had to be punctured to get all the water out. So breathing became harder. She started to cough and drawing breath became very tiresome for her. So we discovered: I can breathe without my lungs. I can go beyond. I can breathe with my entire body. I can even breathe with my ears. (The daughters of my client confirmed that after these breathing sessions her cheeks looked rosy and she was even able to walk.) We experienced that she could go beyond her body, while the pain of transformation and letting go was very intense. Our aim was not to ignore the body or to run away from it, our aim was to let transformation happen in a graceful way.
Some days passed by and suddenly there was a deep rhythm that radiated out of her being. I had already experienced that rhythm in my work with pregnant women. “So this is the rhythm of her death,” I thought. It was slow, gentle and became more prevalent every day. Soon her consciousness moved in this very rhythm. One day she was present in her body, the next day she was very far away.
Around that time her family started contacting me more frequently. It worried them to see that she could no longer talk or think clearly. I told them its part of letting go. The sooner she lets go of her mind, the easier will be her transition. I could feel that my presence in the family, talking to her daughters – even her husband started emailing me – helped to balance the situation. Sometimes the small things get lost, when a person is dying. Family members forget to sleep, to rest or even eat because they are so occupied with understanding what’s going on. They were worried to miss the moment of her death, to miss some important moment when she would talk for the last time. So I just told them to relax, go home, eat and sleep and understand that they can feel their mommy now rather than see and touch her.
One day the rhythm of her transition carried her out so far, that a grand part of her spirit energy was now already beyond. This day I stopped eating meat (according to the Dreamwalker guidelines) and began my conscious one-hour breathing. She hadn’t left her body yet, but a lot of her energy had gone beyond our dimension. As a child, I feared the near realms. I could see into them and feel the presence of all the spooks and dead people. So I was surprised when I went with her into the near realms and experienced no fear at all. Some more days went by. Every day, more of her energy passed over in this in-between state. She was calm. The bonds with her family slowly dissolved and I felt the moment of her physical death coming closer.
Just shortly before she left her body, I could feel a wave of dark energies of her past, memories of deaths that she experienced in previous lifetimes and her families’ “path of death”. These energies had an enormous draw. They were inviting her to – once again – fall into the dark chasm of death, to experience fear, pain and loneliness. In honour of all the work that we had done together I knew I couldn’t just watch her being dragged down into this dark place. (In that moment her daughter called me: “Something feels weird. I feel that mommy cannot die. I feel that something is stuck.”) So she had perceived these old energies as well.
Out of the blue, I had never done something like that before, I told her daughter to sit beside her mother’s bed and breathe for 30 minutes while I did my breathing, too. We hung up the phone and I went into my breath. I found my client curled together and afraid. When she felt my presence she opened up a little bit. I put one foot on the pathway of the Anasazi and called her name. And I called her again. And I called her one more time. And suddenly she came out of her trance and I could feel the energies flowing again. When her daughter called again she said that the smell and the light in the room had changed dramatically. My clients face was relaxed and calm. Again – out of the blue – I told her to wash her mother’s hands and feet and to play soft classical music in her room. The next morning, my client silently left her body. The hospital staff and family reported that there has been a silent glow in the room all day long.
The actual Dreamwalk was easy and calm. I love the transformation that takes place during the Dreamwalk. All energies of the past life dissolve and behind the human persona the angel shines through. Along the way I felt the echo of the classical music that had been played in her room, it was like a thread of light calling her to the Bridge of Flowers. It was like a song – a love song from her family that was shining through that music. After 12 hours we already reached the Bridge of Flowers. She had changed so much, this was no human being, this was an angel coming home. Full of experiences, full of life. There is so much beauty in that moment of crossing over the Bridge. Beauty that is hard to describe with words. Everything makes sense. Everything flows. There is no guilt, no shame nor regret – just a moment of celebrating life, a moment of celebrating a beautiful beloved angel.
The angels met her in the center of the bridge. We said goodbye and I watched her slowly walk away, going home. With a deep breath I let go of the Bridge, let go of the Crystalline Realms, let go of the Near Realms and came back to my body, my room and my chair in which I was sitting in. It felt good to be fully present after many days of being in-between. It felt good, but also a little weird to realize that I could no longer feel the presence of my client. I had become so used to feeling her right beside me. It took some days to rest and reconnect to myself.
I can say that Dreamwalking is one of the most beautiful adventures two humans can share. Later on I realized that the effects of Dreamwalking on the family are grand too. I met with the family of my client two weeks after the Dreamwalk. I saw a little sadness. I saw some tears here and there. But there wasn’t the grief and devastation that you normally meet after a human passes on. Everybody had shifted, transformed and let go of so much.
It was truly a picture of new beginning, of life and beauty.
About Lea Hamann:
Born in 1982, Lea Hamann is working as a facilitator and a compassionate guide for those going through their spiritual awakening process. She teaches breath work and helps people to reconnect with their feminine energy in individual sessions and seminars. Lea Hamann has been working with and embodying the feminine energies for a number of years now. She began channeling Sophia in public in 2007. Since March 2007 Sophia speaks through her in monthly channels. Sophia invites us to reacquaint ourselves with and receive the feminine energy of our soul. Since then Sophia’s wisdom and love have become inseparable from Lea’s work. The monthly channels are free and available on her website.